We Could Be Alone, Together
by Lana Archer
Summary: Prompt. One-shot. A few years after the season six finale. Damon wants to drink, Bonnie needs time alone to think... Or so they thought.


**Prompt:** Damon tries to convince Bonnie to come out, but she'd honestly rather stay in (musical inspiration: "Be Alone" Paramore)

 **Timeline:** A few years after the season six finale

 **Note:** This is one is for (and inspired by) Zsaclar, and is a one-shot XO (unedited!)

* * *

 **We Could Be Alone (Together)**

 _Dear Journal (Elena),_

 _It's been a few years now and I think it's_ _finally_ _set in. I'm never gonna see you again._

 _You were right when you said that we couldn't have the things we wanted at the same time. But I think, you were also wrong a bit too. See, I don't know if you've noticed from these aimless pages I've written for you, but I don't really know what I want anymore. So the whole actually 'getting it' part has been a little harder than expected._

 _It's so quiet now, you know? I thought that if it would all simmer down here I'd finally get some time to myself to realise what I wanted from it all. From the world, from_ _myself_ _. You should be used to my dramatics now, it's very Damonesque of me, what can I say; my best friend is rubbing off on me. So, I've been trying to figure it out, between Stefan and Caroline's googly eyes and tongue-downs, they've both been very supportive. But since graduation it's been getting harder to fill up my time with things that…fill_ _me_ _up. Damon hasn't been much help, he thinks I should just let loose a little, drink with him more often and 'go out, before the grey kicks in'. He suggested another holiday, to Paris this time, not Italy but I put it on hold; being outside of Mystic Falls didn't clear my head then I doubt it'll do much now._

 _Besides, he keeps looking around our house like he wants to move again. I still can't believe the Boarding House is gone. It really grew on me. Oh! The other day, he just announced that he wanted to renovate the kitchen, not even bothering to ask even Stefan if he thought it was a good idea. He never asks me about that stuff, which wouldn't bother me but I have a feeling he wants to tinker around with my room as well, and the attic where all my grimoires and things are. If he dares to touch anything I still have left from Grams I swear…You might come back to a Damon with a lopsided face. Consider it a going away gift since he'll probably kill me if I get it right._

 _I don't know, 'Lena, I guess it's just that this is all feels so final now, so real and so normal. The first while it felt like you had just, gone away for a while, but now, I've stopped waiting for you walk into the room, I've stopped calling your number, or walking past where your house used to be. I'm trying to live, and I don't know why, but I think I'm only figuring it out now…but it hurts because, it'll only happen when I conscientiously move on from losing you. Before, I let my own death(s) define me and until now I let yours do the same…so, if I'm really going to get what I want, if I'm going to actually take a step towards that, I have to let you go._

 _I'll never stop loving you. That's not possible, but I am going to start putting more of an effort in with myself, and love myself more, it's what I want and I know you'd support me._

 _Best friends for life,_

 _Bonnie._

* * *

"Bonnie!" She didn't even jump when she closed her journal and stuck it under her pillow. Her bedroom door swung open and Damon rushed in, landing onto her mattress gracefully, even with his excited vampire speed. He wriggled his eyebrows at her and she snorted, shoving his arm. "Come on, it's Friday night, Caroline has convinced Sarah and Matt to join in and Stefan is actually wearing a shirt that isn't grey OR a v-neck and I'm…" He opened up the sides of his jacket to reveal a white shirt underneath, "Living on the edge myself, bourbon notwithstanding, so, put on something shiny or whatever and join in. They're downstairs, we're gonna have a drink before we leave." She gave him a once over and half smiled, half sighed. She'd only written to Elena because she wanted her best friend. It wasn't until now that she realised who that _actually_ was. And he wouldn't understand, not this time. He let go of the lapels of his jacket and leaned in a little, frowning at her, "You know, if this is about the attic, I wasn't going to do anything you didn't like to it," he swore, "It was supposed to be a surprise but I saw you side-eyeing me the other day in the kitchen."

"I knew it." She chuckled, shaking her head at him, "I knew you were going to mess with the attic."

"Not _mess_ with it," he gasped, a hand flying to his ever-so-pale chest as it peeked out at her from the cut of the fabric, "Just, spruce it up a little, your magic has been on a roll lately so I thought you might like a decent practice space. There's a reason only Stefan visits you up there –"

"Because you and Caroline are the worst best friends in the world?"

" – Because Blondie and I are justifiably opposed to under lit, spider-infested, dusty –"

"Okay I get it." She muttered, rolling her eyes.

"Point is," he tucked his arm through the crook of her elbow and rested his head on her shoulder, hunching himself over awkwardly, causing them both to giggle, "You've been down lately and I wanted to cheer you up." She sighed softly and settled into their position. "You don't want to travel with me, you didn't even fight me when I said I wanted to renovate, you stopped baking and the other day, you laughed at a joke Stefan made." She laughed out loud at the last bit and moved away to look him in the eye.

"It's rare that Stefan cracks a joke and in his defence, it was hilarious." She insisted, her eyebrows arched pointedly, he knew that look, she was deflecting. Question was, from what.

"Something's wrong." He said, sitting up straight and sighing dramatically, "And I know you're not going to tell me until you want to…so, how about that night out?" She shook her head in the negative as she stood up and walked to one of her bay windows. Even though she missed the boarding house, their new house was amazing. The architecture was gothic; the ceilings high with rippling arches above the doors that were a heavy, dark wood. Her room was humongous, and she was sure even some of Damon's clothes were around here somewhere, when she'd nicked a shirt or jacket. This was her home, and as she turned to face him so sort of smiled, because this was her life.

And she was horribly sad.

"I'm not really up to going out tonight." She said slowly and watched as he tilted his head, as he scoured her expression, took note of her voice. Having Damon Salvatore The-Big-Bad-Vampire as a best friend definitely had its. Thanks to his supernatural senses and his thorough knowledge of all-things-Bonnie-Bennett, it only took two seconds for him to come to a conclusion. She knew this, but kept talking anyway, "And yes, we always have fun when we go out, but…lately, I mean," she ran her tongue over her bottom lip as she took a breath and ordered her thoughts, "Caroline and Stefan are moments away from announcing their marriage, Sarah and Matt are already engaged," her eyes flashed to him and away, saying what she wouldn't in that moment, "And I'm here. Alone."

"I'm alone, too." Damon frowned and she put up her hands.

"Damon, trust me, I know," her green eyes locked on him, "I've been there, through your entire process, I know exactly how lonely you are. I was there when you stopped talking to everyone. I was there when you started to again. I was there through all the girls, in and out of Mystic Falls and we fought about it all then and we've moved past it." She blinked rapidly, "And I kind of need this to be about me right now."

"Okay." He nodded, practically business like in his swift change from near drunkenness to dutiful best friend. "I'm all ears." She smiled appreciatively but shook her head as she walked up to him on the edge of her bed. Putting her hands on his shoulders, she quirked her mouth to the corner.

"How about we compromise?" She asked as he looked up at her. "You go out, have fun and when you guys get back you come visit me, tell me all about it and then tell me that everything's gonna be okay even if it's not." He flashed upright then and looked down at her, catching her wrists when she dropped her arms to her sides.

"I'm not leaving you alone like this." He said.

"And I'm not going out like this." She countered, not at all referring to what she was wearing. "There'll be other nights out. For me, tonight's just not one of them." He nodded and pressed his lips together disappointedly, kissing her on the forehead and walking out slowly, without looking back or saying a word. She looked at her door that he'd clicked shut for a few moments, unsure why her eyes were suddenly stinging, and turned back to her mattress, hugging her body, drawing in a breath she changed out of her clothes and into an oversized shirt of her dad's and a pair of short-shorts. She brushed her teeth, her hair and cleaned her face, taking her time so that she knew by the time she'd dipped under the covers the house would be quiet. She listed as the last car pulled away and climbed into bed, letting her tears fall freely now, glad to be alone. And that's when it hit her again; just how alone she felt. It had been creeping up on her for a while now but she hadn't dared acknowledge it, or give it a name, or let it rule her day. But she had a feeling it was going to do just that now and she knew she needed to get it out, but she was really banking on not having to feel alone, on her own.

Despite her best efforts the tears didn't stop and she made the most embarrassing loud noise when there was a knock on her door. Somewhere between a wail and a 'yes?'.

"It's me." Her heart kicked into gear and she shot upright, wiping hurriedly at her face before she rushed to the door and opened it. Damon's face was grave before he was even in full view of her, but she guessed he'd heard her crying. He held out his hand and tugged on hers when she took it, taking her down the hallway. They made their way quietly down the three flights of stairs into the new den. He'd pulled her closer during their descent and she'd begun leaning into him; naturally, their footfalls perfectly synchronised. When they stepped into the room she choked a little, taken aback. He'd covered all the couches in thick quilted blankets, some of them from Sheila, scattered pillows that she and Catherine had made not too long ago, even the wilted ones he and Stefan had tried and failed to make. Little things that had built up over the years all piled into the room to make it one giant sleepover-sanctum. She looked up at him with her shiny green eyes. "Aren't you glad I didn't really leave?" Was all he said before she threw her arms around him. He held her close, resting his chin on top of her head, only letting go when he felt her do so. She turned back to their den and took it all in properly, he'd set up 'The Bodyguard' on the massive TV screen, there was popcorn, ginger beer and red liquorice. And of course, a bottle of bourbon to boot. He'd flashed away and when he stood next to her again she turned and covered her mouth, trying to stifle her surprise in vain. He was wearing the onesie she'd gotten him for his birthday as a gag gift and she had to admit, he looked adorable in it. His smirk showed that he knew just that. "I know you loved these things when you were younger so," he gestured to everything in front of them, "Being the best-best friend you've ever had I've decided to walk down memory lane with you and hope that, even if I can't help you with, or fix or talk about whatever it is that's wrong with you, that at least you know I'm here. And that a night out is pointless without you drinking there with me. And also nowhere near worth it if I know, _and we both know I know_ , that you're not okay and you _need_ me." He threw out his arms. "So, I got our favourite movies, kicked everyone out, piled every pillow and blanket we have in the house into onto the couches so that _you and I_ …can stay in together." She smiled and a traitorous tear slipped out even as she grinned up at him.

"This is perfect, Damon. Thank you." She said, wiping at her cheek, "And you're right," she swallowed with a nod, "I did need this…I did need you." He hummed cheekily in the affirmative and ushered her forward with his arm around her shoulder.

"Know this, Bon-Bon," he said as he sat her down on her favourite couch, his eyes lighting up as he handed Ms Cuddles to her and she beamed when she took it from him, "Being your best friend is important to me, as important as being Stefan's brother for example." She watched him wordlessly as he laid a quilt over her legs and tossed a packet of red liquorice on her lap. He turned then and grabbed at the bourbon and a bottle of ginger beer. Wriggling in next to her with the remote he deposited all of their 'snacks' and cuddled up to her, arm poised to press play. "And I might not know what's wrong, and you might not think that I could help you or whatever, but from what I've learned with us, following our guts, acting on our love for one another – it's always worked out in the end so this isn't going to be any different. And I know," he averted his eyes for a bit, "That I get all 'Damon' about things every now and then but that doesn't change that you're important to me. Just, now, I'm going to make a better effort with you." His hand dropped then and he turned fully to her. "I don't like the idea of you being alone, it hurts me as much as the idea of my own loneliness, I hate that you were crying and I want to fix it."

"You are." She breathed and he frowned a little, unbelieving.

"I'll never get used to that." He muttered and she tilted her head. "Being appreciated," he explained, "Getting it right with you." She smiled and rested her head on his shoulder. "So, you're alone and I'm alone."

"We're both alone." She sighed. He moved his head then, his mouth ghosting kisses to her temple as he spoke.

"We're alone, _together_." He whispered as he pressed play, "I have you and that's all I need." She tried to shake off his words, warp their meaning but the sound waves rippled past her defences and caused her heart to swell. She tried letting Elena's name run through her head, keep her focused and on the straight and narrow. But Damon's fingers in her hair, the softness of his voice as he mumbled through the script, the fact that he loved her **so** much…

* * *

" _I'm alone, now I'm in love with you alone"_


End file.
